Well, I can check another item off my bucket list. Last night I rode the mechanical bull at Ranchmans. While I was terrified to do it, I figured it couldn't be that bad if several plus-sized women had each lasted a decent amount of time before getting bucked off. (Aaron
may have said something like, "That's as close as she is to gettin' laid tonight.")It also helped that Stacey had done it before and wanted to do it again. Clearly this would be fun.
So I paid the ten dollar fee for my three rides, signed my life away, and got in queue. Stacey went before I did. We were lucky in that one of her friends, who just happened to be present, used to work at Ranchman's and was able to provide us with a lot of tips. Tip number one was to practially sit on our hands. Tip number two to make sure to lean back as the bull lifts up. Tip number three came from the bull operator, himself. "You're going to want to move back and forth with your hips, like you're having sex."
Though I thought it odd and even a little creepy that he'd said it, nor did he offer the same advice to Stacey, it was the most helpful tip I received. I don't think I would have made it without it.
Attempt # 1 - I kept repeating the tips over and over in my head, like a mantra, while I waited for the bull to begin. When it finally started moving, I realized I shouldn't have waited so long to do this. I had downed several beers by now. It felt very possible that I could get sick up there, with everyone watching from outside the padded ring, some capturing the moment with their camera phones.
When I finally felt like I had a good feel for how to do ride that thing, I got bucked off. I don't know how I landed. Like I said, I had downed several beers.
Attempt # 2 - I recall my second attempt to have gone on for longer than the first.
Attempt # 3 - I was tired by this point and I got bucked off after only a few back and forth motions.
I'm not sure if this is actually the order in which these events occurred, and there are definitely a lot of details missing - particularly about landing, which would actually be quite funny details to this story - because, unlike what it says in the waiver I signed, I was, in fact, intoxicated at the time.
The reason we were at Ranchman's was Stacey's farewell party. Best of luck in the centre of the universe, Stacey. I will miss you.
P.S. Sorry the photo is blurry. I had left my phone in the car so we had to use Aaron's analogue phone. ;)
After the spending the past four months relaxing and enjoying much spare time, I will have classes once again beginning tomorrow. It's been a great summer and some of its highlights include:
